Menu Close

Alzheimer’s & Dementia – Through The Eyes of a Caregiver Part VIII

Planning A Wedding

The Entry

It’s been a busy few weeks getting everything ready for our wedding.  Everything had been pretty much set up. The cake, flowers, church, small reception with just a few friends.  There were maybe ten people invited at the most. The only plan for our reception was everyone pays for their own dinner at a local restaurant. 

With everything in place, all we had to do was to wait for the day to arrive.  As with everything else, mom was having to be reminded every minute what was going on.  I know I was getting impatient with her at times but I was getting so nervous with the wedding drawing near.

So Many Things To Do

It seemed as if I were a teenage bride getting ready for my first wedding.  I had eloped on my first marriage so this was my first “real” traditional type wedding.  I had so many things to get done before heading to the church after lunch on the wedding day.

For the first time since mom had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, she is going to stay a few days away from home.  While my new husband and I take a short honeymoon trip, mom is going to go stay with my daughter. This was going to be interesting since we haven’t been away from the house or separated for a little over a year.

Wedding Day

Communion Table & Our Name on the Big Screen

My wedding day had finally arrived and I was so nervous. There was a lot to do that morning. I need to head to the church not long after lunch.  My hair appointment is scheduled for as late as possible before I have to go to the church.  My main chore was to pack mom’s stuff to be ready to go to my daughter’s house. As I am packing mom’s things, I can already feel her getting nervous.

Over and over again she kept asking me where “WE” were going.  Over and Over I kept explaining to her that its our wedding day and that my husband and I were going to go on a short honeymoon.  She got really excited and started saying how much she loved Rick and was so happy for me. But as soon as I continued that she would not be going on the honeymoon with us, her attitude changed.  She went from happy to sad and nervous.

Oh My Gosh, It’s Time!

My Daughter Helping Me Get the Final Touches On

It was time to head to the church. The butterflies in my stomach had turned to bumblebees.  At my age, I never thought I would be getting married again. Under

the circumstances, I never dreamed that there would be a man that would want to marry me and move into a house to not only take on a wife, but also a mother-in-law.  I asked him over and over again if he was sure that he wanted to get into this situation, and he said he had thought it all out and knew what he was doing.

Once at the church, all of the final getting dressed up and preparations were made.  When I was done getting ready, the groom was hidden so that the photographer could take some bridal photos.  I felt like a young first-time bride! It was so much fun getting some nice pictures while I was all dressed up.

Finally, The Ceremony Begins

The time had finally come.  It was time to walk down the aisle.  My son-in-law agreed to walk me down the aisle, and my daughter was my matron of honor.  My husband to be had his son as his best man. We were all set to start. We walk up to the glass door where I was going to enter, and the music started. 

As soon as I stepped foot through the door, I could see my future husband looking at me.  He had the biggest smile on his face. My legs were shaking so bad. I knew I had to walk up two steps when I got up to the front and I didn’t want to trip and fall.  When I got up to my husband to be and he was helping me up the two steps, I remember him telling me that I looked so beautiful. It felt so good to hear him say that.

Nothing Like Messing Up Your Vows

The whole repeat after me thing just didn’t work for me that day.  My nerves had taken such a toll on me that I needed a teleprompter.  I couldn’t remember a word two seconds after the Pastor said it. One word at a time for me that day.

It was a quick little ceremony, but it was beautiful.  Rick and I were now married. My nerves were now settling down.  Everyone was starting to head to the restaurant and the photographer needed to do a few photos of the newly married couple.

The Reception

We finished with our photo session then headed to the restaurant where our guests were waiting.  The newly married couple made their grand entrance! Mom had ridden over to the restaurant with my daughter so she was already there.  She seemed fine to have been separated from me for that short amount of time.  We all mingled and my daughter had to do a toast where she kind of threatened Rick that he better take care of her mama!  He reassured her that was not a problem.

Everyone ate and then it was time for the cake.  A friend of mine that I had worked with at a previous job baked cakes as a side job.  He baked amazing cakes. He baked a beautiful Irish Cream cake for me at my request. We hated to cut it as it was so beautiful.  The cake was cut and we had our traditional wedding cake photos taken. Then it was time to eat it! It was so good!

Honeymoon Trip

Rick had planned a trip to the coast.  It was the off-season, so it won’t be crowded and the weather is still fairly cool.  We headed home from the restaurant and mom headed home with my daughter, her husband, and my granddaughter (mom’s great-granddaughter).  We weren’t leaving to head out of town on our honeymoon until the next morning so we were just going to have a quiet relaxing evening at home.  

The next morning we ran some errands around town.  I had to get my driver’s license changed and we made a few other stops before heading out of town.  It felt so good to be getting out and going somewhere. It had been years since I had been anywhere.  Still, in the back of my mind, I was a little worried about mom. Was she doing okay staying at my daughter’s house?  Should I call and check on her? I decided to just wait. I knew my daughter would call me if there were any problems.

A Wonderful Few Days

Our place at the beach was heaven.  The room had a porch with two rocking chairs where we could sit and look out on into the bay.  We had beautiful sunrise views each morning. There was a full buffet breakfast right there at the Inn every morning.  They had so much food I couldn’t decide what to get. I wanted to have some of everything.

Everything was wonderful and we hated to have to go back home.  Time went by so fast. Before we knew it, it was time to head home.  My daughter’s house was  on our way home so I called to let her know about when we would be getting into town to pick mom up.

The First Sign of Other Problems

When I called my daughter to let her know an approximate time that we would be getting into town to pick mom up, she dropped a hint that mom was not feeling well.  Of course, I asked what was going on. My daughter told me that the previous evening mom had started complaining of an upset stomach. Maybe she got a stomach bug or something.

We arrived at my daughter’s house to pick mom up.  We sat and chatted for a little while then we loaded mom up in the car and headed home.  Mom was pretty quiet until we got halfway home. All of a sudden, she perked up? She started talking acting like nothing was wrong and she was feeling fine.  Rick asked her if she was feeling ok, she said she was feeling fine. We looked at each other and we both knew, she wasn’t comfortable being away from me and from home.

A New Fixture In The House

Now that I was married, adjustments had to be made for having a new person, a man,  in the house.  Making room in my closet for Rick to put his clothes is first on the list. He needed some bathroom space for his “man” stuff.  He had his “man” soap and shaving things. Mom and I have to get used to doing things differently now that there is a man in the house.

This was going to be an adjustment for all three of us.  I was more worried about Rick. I didn’t know how he was going to handle not only living with a mother-in-law but a mother-in-law that has Alzheimer’s.  Either way, this was going to be a whole new experience for him.

Take care & Be Well








    • robinarroues

      Thank you for your kind words. They are very encouraging. I want my blog to be informative and helpful to others and I want others to know that it’s not easy to see your loved ones go through such a horrible disease. I am working on getting more blog posts up. Recently was the one year anniversary of my mom’s death and it has been rough on me. The past year has been rough. But I will get more posts up soon! I do have have a newly built Twitter page @theshortestroot however, I have not had time to get on there lately but I have plans to get one there more often in the future. Again, thank you so very much for your kind words! 🙂

    • robinarroues

      I do have a twitter account, but do not have much time to spend posting right now. I hope to make time to post more on twitter at a later date. Thank you so much for your support.

Please share your thoughts or experiences with us!

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *